HOW TO MAKE AN OUTSIDE HOT TUB (INSANE ENGINEER WAY)

First, call Home Depot or other home improvement centers to find out how much it costs for some one to place a hot tub outside, so you know first how much money you are saving, so you can get your celebration wine, for money well saved.

Then, you go to a farm store and buy a cow trough.  Do you know what a cow trough is?  It is a big bucket that cows eat from.   Then, you cut a hole in a sidebar for a car headlight.  This is tough to do. This is a tough job costing many hours of sweat although nothing compared to replacing a bathtub.  After this, you will still  require many days of rest and not work, to be ready for the next step.  Mostly, you are too tired from the bathtub project... This is where you need your wine, to forget about this project, too.

Then, you build a deck around out of old packing crates.  You found a perfect corner in your yard.  You put a hole on the bottom of the trough. with cork as the drain, and pipes coming on the side ( 4 places) hooked on your air compressor for jacuzzi action.   Fill it directly, from your hot water supply, drink up the air tubes, hook up the car battery to the headlight, hop in, and enjoy!  The neighbors lived too close for me to enjoy although he did not seem to have any problem!  Now, my explanation of the process may be a little confusing, but that's OK.  I am positive that you will not be doing this project.

For Advanced students only:   You can use a car headlight hidden behind a piece of plexiglass to provide mood lighting.   He was a romantic robot wanting to provide this wonderful outdoor hot tub with mood lighting, but I just found everything hysterically funny.    So, why a car headlight?   The cheapest and also easy to find, and he had a few spares with him.   Also, while this hot tub operation is going on, you should have another bathroom to take a shower, have a friend living near, or have a very nice neighbor.

I could have said: He made an outdoor hot tub out of a cow trough, and I laughed a lot.

HOW TO REPLACE A BATHTUB (INSANE ENGINEER WAY)

TRUE STORY... JUST FOR FUN

First, call Home Depot or other home improvement centers to find out how much it costs for someone to replace the bathtub so you know first how much money you are saving, so you can get your celebration wine, for money well saved.

Then, you get a sledgehammer.  Then, you pound the old bathtub to pieces.  Humming the chain gang song may help you with pounding... or not.  Well, if not, just keep pounding.  Remember?  You started this against better partner's advice.  Then, you get a broom and a dustpan to sweep up.   This  whole process is a tough job costing many hours of sweat.  After this, you will require many days of rest and not work, to be ready for the next step.  This is where you need your wine.  Feel free to substitute wine for scotch, beer, or anything that helps you forget about your project.

Next, you buy the new tub and realize it does not fit because what you had was the cheapest model on sale.  That's what saws are for.  VRRRRRR...   After this, you will require many days of rest and not work, to be ready for the next step.

Next, you get the new bathtub you fixed, in your bathroom.   This is why you went to an engineering school, to learn spatial relations.  Next, you get out the hammer.  It still does not fit... so much for years and years of studying hard in engineering class.  Wait a minute.  You slept through the classes...   Again, you will need another day of rest for the next step.

Next, you need caulking (lots of it- costs more than the tub).  All holes with caulking... Walla... new tub!

I am a witness to this tragedy and have pictures to prove.

I could have said....You demolish the old tub by pounding with a hammer, cut the new one that does not fit your bathtub with a saw, and then seal it in place with caulking to fit perfectly.